The Past is Done With

I'm at work right now taking my break, and for some reason I have become ridiculously nostalgic. Here I find myself looking at my past, longing to have that same passion I once had, longing to have that feeling that I was in control of my life, longing to KNOW once again that I was going to be ok because I had Jesus and I knew what I was doing in my life. So here I am, sitting at work, realizing that I have no idea what is in store for my life. And I finally understand now that while I am here at this point in my life completely and utterly confused with this chaos that's raging in my heart, mind and soul, that this is where I need to be. I need to be here because I think I am finally going to be able to put my life in His hands. The choices aren't easy any more, and every decision has it's consequences, and there is no way that I can decide ANYTHING myself. I think it's about time to stop making my own decisions. I've been running my life for a while now, and I have to say that in the big picture things have been pretty good. But you know what? I'm tired of good, and I'm sick of alright. I want amazing, I want powerful. I want to live magnificently!! Just as God has intended for me to live. So here it goes...

Father God, I want to put my life into Your hands, I want You to be in control, guide my decisions, my thoughts, the choices that I must make for my life. That I would start to live righteously for You oh God, in alignment with the things You want for my life. I've seen my life in my hands, and the only time I do things right is when I am in Your Will. So God help me. That I may contend and war for You to reign in my life. I love You and I need You. Help me. Amen.